HOW TO STICK WITH YOUR NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
First off, why do we suck at sticking with your goals?
Okay saying we suck is a little harsh..But if we’re honest, we kind of do. It isn’t fully our fault though.
As a society we continue to create these random goals that people are supposed to reach by a set time that we have little control over: get married before your twenty five, have kids by thirty, be a millionaire by thirty, and be a triathlete the whole time.
If you’re a business owner, we constantly see headlines like “Create a billion dollar business in three years!”. Then we’re shocked when people feel like failures. We continue to set unrealistic goals, like lose 30 lbs in 3 months, that we have little control over, fail, and start the process over and over. Especially at the start of the year.
Statistics show that less than 9% of people stick to their New Year Resolutions. 23% failed before the end of the first week of January. THE FIRST WEEK.
Why is that? Mostly it’s because people set goals they *think* they are supposed to set. They don’t actually believe in it, care about it, or think they really can reach it. So if we want to not only stick with our New Year Resolutions, but have a life we actually enjoy, we need to start creating goals we want to see through. How do we do that?
(Learn better from a webinar? I’m hosting a webinar on this on 12/28!)
THREE TOOLS TO BUILD A
SUCCESSFUL GOAL:
First: Know Thyself
You keep creating goals and resolutions you see other people doing or assume you’re supposed to want. Do you actually want to lose weight, get the promotion, or get married? Or do you want to be able to move without your back hurting, have the freedom to work without being micromanaged, and feel loved by your closest community.
Now does moving your body end up losing some weight? Maybe…or maybe not because you end up building muscle. Does freedom from being micromanaged involve a promotion? Maybe, or maybe it’s a lower level position at another job where they are more empowering. What about marriage? You may meet someone you’ll marry when you invest more into your community, or you may feel just as fulfilled by being around people you think are incredible (and who think you’re incredible too!)
The point is, when you know yourself, you get to know what you actually want.
How do you get to know what you actually want? Ask yourself clarifying questions. “I want to lose weight.” ..Okay, why? “Because I want to feel comfortable in a bathsuit.” Okay, why? And just keep going until you realize you actually want to feel strong, or maybe you actually want your resolution to be comfortable in your body no matter how it looks. You get to decide by asking yourself over and over what you want and why.
Another tool is narrowing in on what you already know about yourself. Realizing either you follow a lot of other people and need to focus on your own identity development, or that you actually know yourself more than you realize and can build off that foundation. Either way, this is a moment for you to reconnect with yourself instead of just going with the same goal year after year. Identity development is a key aspect to successful goal setting so this needs to be the first step you take, don’t skip it!
Not sure where to start with identity development? You have plenty of options!
Start setting up time with yourself just like you would with a friend and start seeing how you want to spend that uninterrupted time.
Journaling every day has been shown to create an incredible connection with yourself, giving you the time to see your thoughts, understand a better perspective of your life, and give you a moment to slow down to see what you felt and thought during the day
Second: Get Specific
You need to narrow in as specific as possible with the goal. If your New year resolution is to improve your fitness, that is vague. Let’s say you take it one extra step, to be stronger. Still too vague.
You need to know three things about this goal:
What you want to achieve
How you will achieve it
When you will achieve it by
You figure out what you want with a firm foundation of identity development, and you make sure you get as specific as possible about what you want because the more specific you are, the easier it is to reach it. If you know you want to be able to be more fit so you can play with your kids more, strength training is not the way to go. You want mobility training with HIIT to keep your body mobile and able to handle your kids bursts of energy.
If you just have a goal of being more fit, you’ll go to the gym and just start throwing weights around with no real vision. You may go with a friend who is training for long endurance. You may start following an influencer who looks buff but they spend 4 hours in the gym every day and you only have 30 minutes a day to dedicate to this new goal.
Be honest about how you can realistically accomplish this goal over the time you have given yourself. And when I say be honest, I mean brutally honest. Write out the goal, then make it even more specific. Then distill it even more. Once you have the most personal and specific goal, you will only have a few ways to accomplish this. That’s what you’re wanting. Very few paths to success, because that way you won’t get distracted, overwhelmed, or burned out. You will know that there may be a million ways to improve one's fitness, but for you, there are only two or three viable options.
Think of it this way; If you said you wanted tacos for dinner, Google may pull up 15 places for you to go. And they may be all over town. But let’s say you can’t drive right now, you need a place that is either close by, delivers, or is on UberEats. That narrows it down. Then you decide, I don’t want fast food tacos, I want some authentic tacos. That narrows it down more. You may go from 15 taco places down to 3. Now you can decide based on reviews, photos, or just try one out and next week try another one. If you just knew you wanted tacos but didn’t narrow it down, you’d never get to enjoy the meal, because you wouldn’t know who to order from and may just get overwhelmed, settling for a frozen pizza in the oven.
Goals are the same way. You start broad, then chisel it away, line by line. Until you get to the most specific option for you. And don’t forget, you have to make sure you have a timeline set.
Third: Set up the timeline &
Make it realistic
(You’re a person, not a pressure cooker)
Let’s head back to getting tacos. If you order food, you have to detail when you want it. This sets you and the restaurant up for success. Everyone is on the same page and knows when the food needs to be done and delivered. If you didn’t put a timeline on it, you may get in a few hours or heck, maybe tomorrow. You want tacos right now. Not next week. Same goes for goals. Your New Year Resolution isn’t supposed to happen in June. It’s called a New Year Resolution, meaning you want to start the new year with a new habit. But you can’t just make a change and boom, “New Year New You”.
You need to make small shifts over time to build up to the change you want to see. So you may start the goal in January and see the benefits of that in June. If you’re expecting to have a body that can jump around with your kids and play with them by the end of January 7th, then you’ll be one of the 91% who burn out right away because the disappointment will leave you deflated. If you know mentally you’re playing the long game, you won’t be bothered when the first week of January rolls around.
But how do you set up realistic timelines?
This is where being specific is so vital. Look back on how you’ve set goals in the past, when did you fall off and when did you succeed? Start taking stock of your previous goals and then start looking at the timeline it takes for most people. Then personalize it for you. This is also another opportunity for you to utilize a goal setting coach. When you have a support system you are much more likely to achieve your goal because of the accountability and the mentality to stay true to your word. Make sure you have deadlines for each step of your goal and the deadlines have rewards for when you reach them! You can absolutely achieve the goals you set as long you keep time and ability in mind. Realistic goal setting isn’t about thinking small, it’s actually how you achieve huge life changing goals. You want to avoid burn out so make sure you have a plan for 2024!
